Being Vulnerable

Gulp, I’m Being Vulnerable

from Today’s Prayer Journal

I’m going to do something that I’ve never done before. I’m going to share with you what I journaled this morning during my devotional/prayer time. Up until last night I’ve had an incredible peace about all the craziness that has happened over the past couple weeks. Maybe you can’t relate to what I was feeling last night but, perhaps, you can. Last night fear got a hold of me during the early evening hours and increased throughout the night. The only thing I knew to do was, since fear got a hold of me, for me get a hold of God.

3/16/2020

Father, this coronavirus has me rattled and, yes, fearful. That’s why I’m up at 4:45 a.m. (well, that and the dog was up most of the night and Mike’s snoring…)

I don’t think my biggest fear is the actual virus. I believe “this too shall pass.” It may get worse before it gets better but it will pass. I think my biggest concern is that it’s going to hurt the economy. Big time.

For example, our business is service oriented. When the economy slows, our business usually slows too. That’s true of almost every service-type business in our country. As of right now, we only have two cars scheduled at the shop for this entire week because, well, that’s what happens when folks are unsure of their future. They’re afraid. Terrified.

I understand their fear completely. Father, we have a lot of mouths to feed…five right now and eventually maybe more. We need an income. We need cars to fix. Please open the doors wide. Or if that’s not going to happen, I pray You will meet our needs. Help us pay our bills and put food on the table.

Oh, good grief. Father, please forgive me for telling You how to take care of us. The truth is I need to trust You. I need to trust You with the coronavirus. You are God and You are still in control…of the world, our country, our city and my family. I need to trust You with the nation’s economy, and more specifically, our finances. If the shop closed today and never opened again, we will be okay. You will take care of us. You will meet our needs. I’m not going to tell You how to do it. I’m not going to even speculate how you’re going to do it. It might not look like I think it should, but You will take care of my family. I trust You totally. We are in Your caring, loving hands.

Our world may not look normal for a while but that’s okay. We’ll find a new normal. The good in all of this is people are crying out to You by the millions. I know You hear their cries. You love them so much. Have Your way, Father, in all of their lives. Thank You for Your Perfect Love and Your Perfect Peace which passes all understanding. You are able to do above and beyond all that we imagine. You are more than able. Thank You for Your Love and Peace and Comfort and Hope saturating my soul in this moment. You totally rock, Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

P.S. Are you calling me (and others) to a season of prayer and fasting? Please help me say yes, if that is indeed the case. And please forgive me for getting furious with the dog last night and spanking her harder than I should have. I lost a lot of sleep because of Shelby but that can’t excuse my anger. Please give me strength for the day. And help me not to use lack of sleep as an excuse to be cranky. And could You snuff out the ants that have infiltrated and taken over our kitchen? Amen & amen.

1 John 4:18

Jesus, Your perfect Love removes my fears.

Is. 26:3, 4

I am at peace because my mind is on You, Lord.

Ephesians 3:14-21

Your Love will sustain us. You are more than able.

Philippians 4:19

You are more than enough.

Proverbs 3:5, 6

I trust You completely. That is enough.

I would like to encourage you…if fear has gotten a hold of you then get a hold of God. It won’t change the reality of what is happening but it will change you. For the better.